Thursday, August 28, 2014

Alice Club Questionnaire Tickles Funny Bones
By Todd Swindell and Michael Petrelis
(Cross-posted from our campaign page.)

If it's one thing we've learned in our decades of political advocacy it is the value of laughter, as both a powerful healing tool and a counter-balance to the craziness endemic to politics.

We wish to thank the conservative LGBT leaders and members of the Alice B. Toklas Democratic Club for providing us with deep and extended gales of laughter earlier this month.

The club has long been the stomping ground of the incumbent District 8 Supervisor, faithfully embraces his policies and agenda at City Hall, and provided him with an early endorsement in his reelection bid.

We received a time-wasting questionnaire from Alice along with a confusing and poorly-written note, and we're going to unpack each sentence just for the fun of it.

Alice says: "Attached is the Alice Fall Questionnaire which we would appreciate your completing if your [sic] wish.

#ILikeMikeSF replies: Why in heaven's name are they sending out a questionnaire to all District 8 challengers, when we are fully aware of how devoted the club is to the incumbent? A response is likely to be used to defame his opponents.

Alice says: "You are aware of our pre-endorsement of our former Alice co-chair [the D8 incumbent] for re-election, which is why you haven’t received this before."

#ILikeMikeSF replies: Yes, we're quite aware of this fact and totally understand the club has ignored his challengers. Why does the club pretend it's interested now in what we have to say on any issue?

Alice says: "However, it would be useful to know your position on the various questions we ask, and it would be appreciated if you would respond.

#ILikeMikeSF replies: Please explain how and why it would be useful. Is there is snowball's chance in hell that the club would actually consider rescinding the early and enthusiastic endorsement, making it up for grabs?

Alice says: "Of course, disregard the return date, but hopefully you can complete [sic] before [our deadline]."

#ILikeMikeSF replies: Well, why have a return date (do they actually deadline?) in the first place? We'll also disregard the incredible sloppiness of this entire endeavor except for the humor value of it.

Oh, and no, we didn't attend their endorsement, but we sure have enjoyed Alice proving they can be ridiculous. Asking candidates so late in a club's useless endorsement process to answer a questionnaire, when they've already made their preferred choice well known, is an insult to voters and challengers.

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