Petrelis Files

Irish Paper:
Gays Fed Up Being Illness Guinea Pigs

A nice Irish lad by the name of Donal Lynch, channeling the wit and spirit of Oscar Wilde, has penned a fabulous rebuttal to all the global hysteria about gays and staph infections creating by the cretins in the UCSF press office. Don't you just adore the title of his column? I sure as hell do. Mr. Lynch's opinion column appeared in the Sunday edition of the Independent published in Dublin.

Some excerpts:

Fed up of being an illness guinea pig

I KNOW you're probably sick of my hypochondria, but have you heard the news -- there's another "gay plague" in America?
Just when we thought it was safe(ish) to go back in the water, it turns out there's a particularly virulent strain of MRSA that you can get just by shaking hands, but also by having sex -- and it's being passed around among gay men.

And don't think you're safe, either. You know how these things work: gays today, everyone else tomorrow. It's really enough to put you off having sex forever. [...]

I think it's really unfair though that gays always have to test out the really scary illnesses first.

Why can't there be a middle-aged, white, boring person plague that's passed on only at, say, garden centres? I just really want to have a chance to wear a ribbon and appear sympathetic while secretly feeling that they brought it on themselves.

I can tell you now there's no way this disease will catch on. That's because it apparently causes big boils to swell up on the body. And if there's one thing that can focus gay minds brilliantly, it's the thought of not looking our best. We don't mind about having some deadly illness as long as it doesn't cause us to look older or uglier.

Read the full article here.