Petrelis Files

Transformer

[My queer brother Mike Tidmus over in Amsterdam has given me kind permission to use his image and words. Thanks, Mike.]


Foley came from Miami, FLA
Page-hopped her way across the USA
An email here and an IM there
K Street DC’s the place where they say,
Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side
I said, Hey page
Take a walk on the wild side

Coulter came from out on the Island
In the backroom she was everybody’s darlin’
Adam’s apple at her throat
Thinks she has some room to gloat
She says, Hey Newt
Take a walk on the wild side
She said, Hastert
Take a walk on the wild side
And the coloured girls sing,
Doo do doo do doo do do doo

Little Matt never once gave it away
Everybody had to pay and pay
A hustle here and some muscle there
The Drudge Report is the place where they say,
Hey page, take a walk on the wild side
She says, Hey page
Take a walk on the wild side

Sugar Plum Karl came and hit the streets
Lookin’ for boy chow and some ass to eat
Went to the Be Bar … Oh!
You should’ve seen her go go go
She said, Hey Bulldog
Take a walk on the wild side
She said, Hey Kenny
Take a walk on the wild side
All right, huh

Dobson is just bleating away
Thought she was James Dean for a day
Then I guess she had to crash
Spongebob might have helped that bash
I said, Hey fool,
Take a walk on the wild side
I said, Hey Foley,
Take a walk on the wild side
And the coloured girls sing,
Doo do doo do doo do do doo