Petrelis Files

Dept of Transportation Signs Open Skies Deal with Santa!?

Just in time to prove Fox News pundit Bill O'Reilly and other nutty conservatives wrong about the alleged war on Christmas, this goofy press release was posted yesterday on the Department of Transportation's web site.

Clearly, the warriors battling to keep Christmas out of the public sphere and persuade the federal government to not promote one religion or its holidays, have failed to force their views on one part of the federal government.

Anyone know if O'Reilly is aware of this release? Has he expressed thanks to Secretary Mineta for using government resources to promote Christmas and fictional character who uses an alias? ;-)

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DOT 184-05
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Contact: Brian Turmail
Tel.: (202) 366-4570


U.S. Secretary of Transportation Norman Y. Mineta And North Pole’s
Kris Kringle Sign Open Skies Agreement

Agreement Gives Santa Greater Access to Rooftops of Good Kids Everywhere

Just in time for Christmas, Secretary of Transportation Norman Y. Mineta and the North Pole’s Kris Kringle, a.k.a. Santa Claus, signed an Open Skies aviation agreement in Washington, D.C. today, giving Santa and his team of reindeer greater access to the rooftops of good kids everywhere.

For years, Santa had been required to make an annual request to the Secretary of Transportation for a special flight certificate in order to deliver his Christmas goodies. With this new agreement, it will be easier for Santa to finish his job all in one night.

“Santa can now focus on making his list and checking it twice, without the hassle of government paperwork,” said Secretary Mineta. “Thanks to this agreement, the only time he needs to worry about Red Tape is if he wants to use it to wrap presents.”

The Open Skies agreement signed by Secretary Mineta and Santa Claus noted Santa’s safe and efficient toy delivery operation that enables him to bring joy to millions of children in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico and all U.S. territories, all without impact to air traffic carrying travelers to their holiday destinations.

“Now it’s just HO HO HO and off I go,” exclaimed the Jolly Old Elf. “The reindeer and I look forward to checking this item off of our list for good,” he said.

Mineta said the decision was helped by a flood of public comments offered by Santa advocates from all over the nation. Thousands of letters were sent to the Department of Transportation and to the North Pole encouraging each party to complete these important negotiations before Santa’s yearly trip, he said.

“Santa’s Elves are tough negotiators,” Mineta noted. “But, in the end, we were able to arrive at an agreement that will benefit children of all ages.”